Drunken Ramblings
by bugface
Summary: This is basically a story that i removed by accident: Sara cant take it anymore. CHAPTER 5 NOW UP!
1. Default Chapter

Even with Grissom's terrible people skills, he knew that Catherine had reached her breaking point. Eddie may have been an unfaithful husband, but he was still the father of their daughter, Lindsey. Grissom knew that she was crying more for Lindsey, who would have to grow up without a daddy, and he knew how hard that was.  
  
Grissom tentatively reached for her, placing his hands on her hips. He felt alien towards people. Suddenly, though, he knew what he had to do. He slowly inched his arms around her waist and pulled her close, so that her head lay on his chest.  
  
"It's okay, it's alright, everything's going to be okay," He whispered, attempting to comfort her with soft words of reassurance.  
  
Rocking on the balls of his feet, he waited until her last sobs had subsided. He heard her hiccup and, smiling a small smile, he leant in to kiss her forehead.  
  
"Thank-you, Griss," she murmured into his shirt, unwilling to let go.  
  
Reluctantly, she pulled away, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.  
  
"Is it okay if I have the night off?"  
  
"Yeah, take all the time you need."  
  
"Thank-you," Catherine said and she smiled for the first time in days, "You're a real good friend, you know that?"  
  
With one last pat on the arm, she left the break room and headed towards the exit. 


	2. Running Away

Sara and Nick had just returned from a particularly easy case, in which a jealous rage from a woman had left her husband dead. Simple open and shut case.  
  
"You know, if I just killed my husband," Sara was saying, "I think I would have covered my tracks better than that!"  
  
"I know," Nick grinned back, "Prints all over the murder weapon, eyewitness, drenched in her husbands blood and she's still swearing down that she's innocent!"  
  
Turning the corner, they spotted Greg shuffling about in a lab coat that appeared to be several sizes too large.  
  
"Hey, Greg, you wanna go for breakfast after shift?" Nick asked, delighting in the shock written over his co-worker's face.  
  
Greg's eyes widened at the invitation. They wanted him to join them for breakfast? He tried to remain casual.  
  
"Yeah, sure, see you after shift!"  
  
And with that, the lab rat scurried back to his evidence, trying to hide the grin that graced his features.  
  
"I've got to go get these to trace, Sara, I'll see you in a bit?" Nick asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure, see you."  
  
Sara left Nick and made her way to the break room. God, she could do with a strong cup of coffee! But what she saw from the glass door of the break room made her stop dead in her tracks. Her Grissom, no, not her Grissom, she reminded herself, bent down and kissed Catherine. Catherine!? There must be a reasonable explanation. There is a reasonable explanation. She had worked the case. Eddie's case. Catherine should be affected; she should need comforting, yes?  
  
No matter how she tried, the reasoning wasn't working. It didn't stop the burning in her heart. It didn't stop the tears that threatened to spill over. She turned and ran. The scene before her was too painful to watch. Her tears blinded her as she ran down the hall, running into Nick.  
  
"Hey slow down,"  
  
It was only then did he see the sorrow written so clearly on her face.  
  
"Hey honey, what's wrong?"  
  
"Leave me alone," she screamed, running past him.  
  
"What's the matter with her?" asked Warrick, as he passed Nick.  
  
Nick only shrugged and walked away to find Grissom. Grissom would know what was wrong. Hell, Grissom always knew what was wrong, even if he didn't know what to do about it. 


	3. Calling for Help

The alcohol was making her thoughts fuzzy. Her vision blurred. Her head ached. But it was a good ache, drowning out the ache in her heart completely.  
  
She was vaguely aware of a person entering her living room. How did they get in?  
  
"How did you get in here?" She said, her voice slurring heavily.  
  
Nick was somewhat taken aback by her appearance. He knew she wasn't a heavy drinker. It must have been something pretty awful to have her acting so strangely. She didn't even act like this after the Pam Adler case, and that one had been extremely tough on all of them.  
  
"Er.I used the spare key you gave me and you never asked for it back, so."  
  
"You want something to drink?" Sara asked, standing uncertainly, only to trip over the coffee table and fall to the floor.  
  
Nick was by her side in a moment, and had scooped her up and placed her back on the couch before she could protest. He saw that her elbow was bruised where she had caught in on the edge of the table. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as she sobbed. For some reason he knew that she wasn't crying for her injuries.  
  
"He doesn't want me Nicky." She sobbed into his shoulder, "He doesn't want anything to do with me."  
  
"Hey, it's okay."  
  
Sara cut him off, shouting: "No it's not okay, he hates me know, he's gonna hate me so much!"  
  
And with that she squirmed out of his arms and rushed towards the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. In the other room, Nick grimaced and groped for his cell phone.  
  
"Grissom," Came the curt greeting on the other end of the line.  
  
"Hey, it's Nick, I'm at Sara's apartment, I think you better come over, she's acting really weird."  
  
Grissom's tone immediately softened after hearing Sara's name, "Okay, I'll be over in ten minutes, can you stay with her 'til I get there?"  
  
Nick pulled the phone from his ear and gave it a strange look. Grissom sounded extremely worried. He didn't know all that much about Grissom and Sara's past, except that they met at a seminar. Had Sara ever done anything like this before? She wouldn't do anything stupid would she? He was probably just overreacting. 


	4. Sorry

Grissom was just about to go to bed when his phone rang.  
  
"Grissom," he said by way of a greeting.  
  
"Hey, it's Nick, I'm at Sara's apartment, I think you should come over, she's acting really weird."  
  
Grissom froze momentarily. Sara might be in trouble. She was 'acting weird' which wasn't a worry at all, the fact that people thought she was acting weird was worrying, especially Nick, because he knew what she could be like at times.  
  
"Okay, I'll be over in ten minutes, can you stay with her 'til I get there?"  
  
Grissom didn't give him time to answer, hanging up quickly. He grabbed his keys off the table and speeded towards Sara's house. As he reached her door, he thanked God that there hadn't been a crash; he must have broken every speeding law there was just arriving here. He looked at his watch, which told him that he had taken only six minutes to reach her.  
  
He rapped impatiently on the door. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realised that he didn't even know what was the matter with Sara, except that even Nick thought she was acting strangely.  
  
The door swung open to reveal Nick glancing nervously over his shoulders.  
  
"Man, I don't know what is wrong with her but she is pretty damn drunk. She's rambling about some guy, I think you can help her, call me if you need me."  
  
And with that Nick slipped past Grissom before the other man could protest. Grissom raised an eyebrow, shrugged his shoulders and entered Sara's apartment. As he walked into what he presumed to be her living room he saw a very different Sara to the one he was used to. She sat slumped on the couch with a bottle of vodka in one hand, and tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Where the hell are you Nick? How could you leave me like this?" She mumbled, pausing only to take a swig of vodka, then continuing with her drunken ramblings.  
  
Grissom walked over to the couch and sat down next to her.  
  
"There you are, I thought you'd run off with another woman, like that bastard." she paused to take another gulp of the liquid, "Hank" she spat.  
  
"Hey it's gonna be okay."  
  
Grissom was cut short by Sara's fist making an almost painful thump that was sure to leave a mark on his chest. Shortly after that Grissom became aware of her whole body shaking as whacking great sobs overtook her person. She snuggled her head tightly into the crook of his neck, scrunching up his shirt into her fists, holding on to dear life.  
  
"It's not okay, Nicky."She gasped in between cut wrenching sobs, "I think he hates me."  
  
Her words cut through him like a butcher's knife. He didn't have the heart to tell her that Nick had gone for fear of what she might do. He had only been on the receiving end of her fury a couple of times and had no intention of trying it a third time. All he could do for the meantime is hold her and rock the both of them gently, allowing her to spill the words that she would never say in front of him willingly.  
  
"I never meant to fall in love with him, I promise.it just sort of.happened."  
  
She paused when she hiccupped, suppressing a small sigh. She chewed her bottom lip slightly, as if unsure what to say next.  
  
"And he doesn't want me.he can comfort Catherine but he doesn't want me.what is she that I'm not?"  
  
This latest revelation brought Grissom to tears. He closed his eyes, willing the burning feel of guilt and self-loathing in his chest to disappear, as the tears left bold tracks down his cheeks. His mind screamed at him to say something, but he remained silent.  
  
"He doesn't want me." She murmured, barely audible to Grissom's ears.  
  
They sat there for a time, Sara snuggled into Grissom's warm embrace, until he realised that her breathing pattern had changed. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he removed the bottle from her tight grasp and shifted so that he lay on the sofa with Sara half on top of him, her head on his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her waist. He tenderly traced the side of her face, wiping any stray tears away with his thumb, leaning forward slightly to kiss her forehead.  
  
"I'm sorry.I'm so sorry." 


	5. The morning after the night before

The second that Sara awoke she knew that something was not right. No, it didn't feel wrong, it felt different. Maybe it was the fact that what she lay on was definitely not her bed. Maybe it was that she couldn't remember anything about last night. Or maybe it was the fact that what she lay on was moving, no, scrap that, what she was laying on was breathing.  
  
When this realisation had registered her eyes flicked open quickly to reveal the sweetest sight she had ever seen.  
  
Grissom's head was tilted slightly to the side, resting on his shoulder. His eyes were closed, and his mouth hung open a little. His salt and pepper curls were showing their amazing ability to defy gravity. All in all, Sara couldn't believe that the man sleeping quietly on her couch was Gil Grissom, she had never seen him this relaxed.  
  
Wait a minute, lying on her couch?  
  
One quick look around the room convinced her that this was indeed her living room and her furniture, but the most worrying thing of all was that she couldn't think of one explanation why Grissom would be asleep next to her. She took an extra few minutes to steal glances at him, reasoning with herself that there would never be another chance to see him this innocent, with all of his guards down.  
  
It was only then she noticed the tearstains that ran in two lines down his face.  
  
She started to panic. "Oh God, what did I say last night?" she whispered shakily, tucking a stay curl behind his ear with one hand.  
  
This said, Grissom began to stir. He screwed up his face and mumbled something that she couldn't quite hear. She smiled in spite of the odd situation.  
  
The hand around Sara's hip tightened its grip as Grissom rolled over and stretched. He opened his eyes suddenly, as if only just realising where he was. He met Sara's confused gaze and found it hard to look away.  
  
He stared. 


	6. Confrontation

I can see that he doesn't know why he's holding me. Hell, I don't even know why he's here, but I have to admit, it is kind of nice waking up to his arms wrapped securely around me. I could've got used to this, if it wasn't for the look of pure disgust on his face.  
  
At least it looks like disgust.  
  
I could try and kid myself that it was just bewilderment, or maybe if I didn't know better I would say awe, but unfortunately I do know better. I would ask why he is here, but I don't need the confirmation: I can see several empty beer cans, and a discarded wine bottle. For a moment I panic again, what the hell did we do last night?  
  
I guess he sees my discomfort, because he slowly and carefully turns us on the couch so that we are safely seated before the conversation continues.  
  
The spot on my hip where his hands were freezes as soon as he lets go, the burning sensation immediately lost.  
  
"Sara." He begins cautiously.  
  
"Shit! Will you quit saying my name, it's not gonna solve every problem, and neither is a damn plant!"  
  
My sudden burst have anger shocked me to silence and it sure must have shocked him too, because he doesn't speak again for a long moment.  
  
"I'm sorry, it's." His hands twist loosely, helplessly, as if he needs to climb a tightrope to find the right words.  
  
There is something in his uselessness, maybe because I am not used to seeing this part of him, which softens the harshness around my eyes. I reach over and tuck another strand of his flyaway hair behind one ear. He looks at me with such an intense gaze that I swear my heart skips a beat, and I have to look away again. I can't keep the emotion from swirling in my eyes.  
  
I think that this gives him the courage to start again, but something suddenly reminds me to ask him something.  
  
"Why are you here?" My voice sounds strange, almost strangled.  
  
He avoids my direct line of sight, choosing instead to glance at a plant in the corner of the room.  
  
"You kept it." I can barely hear him past the beating of my heart.  
  
"Answer the question, damnit!"  
  
~*~  
  
She hardly ever swears.  
  
It confuses me that in such a short space of time, she's sworn three times. The worst thing is that they have all been directed at me.  
  
I can feel her staring at me. What am I supposed to say to her? Nick was there when you needed someone the most, and he dragged my sorry ass to help.  
  
Yeah. That makes me sound like a real hero.  
  
Or there's the better version. You dragged her sorry ass to Vegas, treat her like shit, and she goes and gets drunk on your behalf.  
  
Yeah. That sounds loads better, I think bitterly.  
  
"For God's sake! Speak already! You're always there to tell me what to do, just because you're a member of higher authority than me, but my God! When you're asked to speak, it's always."  
  
I cut off her angry tirade by raising both my hands in defeat.  
  
I don't want to get angry with her, despite the fact that she's damn well furious with me right now.  
  
"Okay, I'm here because last night I received a phone call from Nick, that you were out of you're head, drunk!"  
  
"Out of my head? Out of my head? And can you really blame me?" She shouts back.  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I think it's flipping well obvious!"  
  
"Oh, and why is that?" I ask, sugary sweetness dripping from my tone.  
  
I don't think this is about last night anymore, there's some deeper point that she's trying to get through to me. Just my luck that on the day I wake up in the arms of my dream woman, she more pissed at me than you can imagine.  
  
"Don't you dare talk to me like a child!"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
What is she getting at here?  
  
~*~  
  
He really doesn't know what I'm talking about does he?  
  
"What I mean, is that you don't trust me at work anymore. You totally ignore my opinion and judgement, what the hell changed?"  
  
I didn't believe you could truly hate someone that you love until this moment.  
  
"Of course I trust your opinion, I trust you completely."  
  
"Yeah, you trust me to do my job, but what about your personal life, would you trust me with that?"  
  
He hesitates before answering me, and I suddenly don't want to hear any more.  
  
"You know what? Don't answer that! I don't want to hear it," I scream at him, "Get out! Get out!"  
  
He looks quite shocked by my speech, but stands up anyway. He looks like a defeated man.  
  
"I'd tell you I'm sorry if you told me what I've done." He says calmly before taking one more step towards the door.  
  
"I'll tell you what you've done! You stroll around completely ignoring me, and yet you can't even give me peace to my job without walking in on you and Catherine, I mean, why can't you get a room?"  
  
And with this I turn and stomp from the room.  
  
I can clean up the mess when he's gone.  
  
I barely hear the front door click shut before hot tears spill down my face. 


End file.
